Veggies in Equestria
by Obi-wan Kepony
Summary: Bob and Larry find themselves in Equestria.  Too bad everyone here is a vegetarian.  Quick one-shot I did on break.  Maybe I'll flesh it out later.


Author: Obi-wan Kepony

Legal Stuff: MyLittlePony:FriendshipisMagic and all the characters therein are trademarked properties of Hasbro, Inc. VeggieTales and all the characters therein are trademarked properties of Big Idea Entertainment. This is a free fan-fiction and is not to be distributed for money, goods, or services.

…

A/N: One shot crossover—some strong language and religious themes—VeggieTales is a religious show anyway, right? Read the whole thing before you flame me

…

"Hi kids, welcome to VeggieTales. I'm Bob the Tomato…" said the happy little red fruit, who was sitting on a bale of hay.

"…and I'm Larry the Cucumber…" added his tall green friend who was standing next to him.

"…and today, we're here at Sweet Apple Acres with our friends, Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo. Hi guys!"

The camera panned slightly toward the three little fillies wearing VeggieTales t-shirts sitting just outside the main barn door. "Hi Bob, hi Larry!" they said excitedly.

"We're able to be here today through the miracle of modern technology. The new Veggie Transporter Deluxe has opened a portal to the world of Equestria! And, we are here today because Applebloom sent us an email that she was having trouble fitting in with her classmates. Applebloom, would you read that email for us?"

"Sure Bob…ahem…Dear Bob and Larry, my two best friends and I get a lot of flack at school because we haven't gotten our cutie marks yet. We were wondering how long—"

"APPLEBLOOM," a voice rang out from the barn, "AH THOUGHT AH TOLD YA' TO CLEAN UP THIS PIG SH*(neigh) IN HERE! GIT YER LITTLE BLANK A*(neigh) IN HERE THIS INSTANT AND CLEAN THIS STY UP!"

With a shocked expression, Bob and Larry looked at Applebloom who just shrugged, "…heh heh…uh, that's just my big sister, Applejack…heh."

"Maybe this wasn't the best time to come by," Larry said, "Sounds like you…uh…have some chores to finish up."

"No!" cried Applebloom. "I really think you guys can help me with my problem…you know…tell a story like you always do…" she said with a pleading look.

"Well," Bob considered, "Okay—this reminds me of a story a long time ago of a cucumber who longed for meaning, significance, and purpose in life. It all started when—"

"APPLEBLOOM! WHAT THE HAY ARE YOU DOIN' AND WHO ARE YOU TALKIN' TO OUT THERE!"

The barn door opened and there stood Applejack—fuming.

"Applebloom! We got a lot of work ta' do today! We don't have time for this sh—what's that thar'?"

"Applejack, I'd like you to meet my friends, Bob and Larry." Applebloom motioned to the tomato and cucumber sitting on the hay.

"Lil' sis', have you been hangin' round' Pinkie too much again? Those are just vegetables that fell off the cart from the north field. Pick 'em up and bring 'em into the kitchen—"

"Hi Applejack!" Bob and Larry said in unison.

"HOLY SH*(neigh)! TALKIN' VEGGIES!" Applejack jumped about ten feet and ran back into the barn as quick as she could.

"A.J.?" Applebloom said, nervously.

Then she was back. With a knife.

"Applebloom, get the vinegar and oil; I've been hankerin' for a nice cucumber and tomato salad for a while now. " She said with a glazed look in her eye.

"AHHHHHHH!" Bob and Larry screamed and ran as fast as they could. They were picked up by Scootaloo who was riding her scooter.

"Don't worry guys, I'll get you somewhere safe..." said the little winged pony as she rode out of Sweet Apple Acres and into Ponyville.

"Bob, I think I want to go home now." Larry said with a whimper.

"Scootaloo," Bob asked—almost out of breath, "Do you know anyone who can help us get back home?"

Scootaloo thought about it for a minute while dodging produce carts coming in and out of the farm. "Hmmm…" then it came to her, "I know! If there's anypony who knows anything about anything its Twilight Sparkle!"

…

"You want me to what?" Twilight said indignantly to Scootaloo.

"I want you to help Bob and Larry get home!" Scootaloo said, pleadingly. "They don't have a way back to their world, and I was hoping you would know a way."

"So, basically, you're saying you want me to alter the time-space continuum, warping the very fabric of the universe, and possibly ending all life as we know it to send…lunch back home?"

"Well, uh…yeah!" said Scootaloo with a huge grin.

"We would really appreciate it Miss Sparkle." The red tomato began, "You know, it really pleases God when we take care of each other, even when we don't know each other. It reminds me of the story of the Good Samaritan, how he was found on the side of the road and…"

"Listen Tomato," said Twilight, "you want to get home, or end up in a pot of pasta sauce?"

"…uh, home…please…"

"Then shut up and let me think!" She turned to her bookshelf and scanned it for a minute. "Hmm…let's see…AH! Here it is! Spells for Extra-Terrestrial and Inter-Dimensional Travel for Dummies, 5th edition!" She turned to the vegetables, "Okay, you two stand about a foot apart right there. Good, now keep still while I concentrate."

"um…Is this gonna' hurt?" Larry asked

"Only if you KEEP TALKING, PICKLE! NOW BE QUIET!"

"I'm not a pickle…" Larry said under his breath.

"WHAT WAS THAT?" Asked Twilight in a deafening tone.

"Nothing." Larry replied.

As Twilight began to concentrate, her horn began to glow bright purple. A ball of light began to grow in the center of the room around Bob and Larry. After a minute, the ball imploded on itself and Bob and Larry were gone.

"Wow, Twilight that was so cool!" Scootaloo shouted, "Are they home safe."

"I'm pretty sure they got back to where they needed to be." Twilight said with a grin.

…

"Hi kids, welcome to VeggieTales. I'm Bob the Tomato."

"And I'm Larry the Cucumber."

"And today we're here on Cybertron with our friend, Optimus Prime. Optimus, what's got you down, buddy?"

"Leadership. It is a great honor to lead my fellow Autobots, but it comes with a great price. I have no one to call my peer, my true colleague, someone I can share my deepest, darkest secrets with." The mighty robot said.

"What kind of secrets?" Larry asked.

"I'm a brony…"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the two vegetables screamed.

…

Fin.


End file.
